A Full Life
I'm traveling to Denver today to attend another session of my coach training and on the first leg of my flight from Gainesville to Charlotte, had the opportunity to read more of one of the books I'm currently reading "The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth" by M. Scott Peck.
What I read on the short flight was a reminder of something that has been on my mind a lot the last couple weeks.
I will share with you part of what I read this morning that resonated strongly with me.
"But with cathexis (the process of investment of mental or emotional energy in a person, object, or idea) there is always the risk of loss or rejection. If you move out to another human being, there is always the risk that that person will move away from you, leaving you more painfully alone than you were before. Love anything that lives-a person, a pet, a plant-and it will die. Trust anybody and you may be hurt; depend on anyone and that one may let you down. The price of cathexis is pain. If someone is determined not to risk pain, then such a person must do without many things: having children, getting married, the ecstasy of sex, the hope of ambition, friendship-all that makes life alive, meaningful and significant. Move out or grow in any dimension and pain as well as joy will be your reward. A full life will be full of pain. But the only alternative is not to live fully or not to live at all."
He goes on to say that "the attempt to avoid legitimate suffering lies at the root of all emotional illness".
What stands out and is important to me about this passage is the reminder that a full life is full of pain. I feel more alive than I ever have before but also experience pain more deeply than I ever have before.
I spent a good portion of my life running from pain through a variety of self-destructive ways. I ran as long as I could until I wasn't able to escape from the pain anymore. I was backed into a corner and the only way out appeared to be through. I was utterly terrified and while I would like to tell you that I faced the pain because I had courage, it was more a factor of my life being on the line and not seeing another way out.
What I found out was that the pain was where my source of healing lied. I have spent the past 14 years gradually opening up to pain and allowing myself to experience as best as I can without running or escaping from it. This journey has allowed me to live an extremely full life, a life that I, and others close to me, never imagined possible. My experience has been that I don't get to live a full life without experiencing the pain of being fully alive. Opening myself up to life and loving deeply involves tremendous hurt and pain at times, but the alternative is more terrifying to me. I would much rather live a full life full of pain than not live fully or not live at all.
How about you? Do you embrace pain or try and avoid it? I challenge you today to live a full life and welcome the pain that comes along with it.
In Ultimate Support of You!
Katharine