Too much or not enough?
I’ve moved through most of my life holding one of two assumptions…
I’m too much.
I think too much.
I feel too much.
I care too much.
I want too much.
I love too much.
AND,
I’m not enough.
I’m not funny enough.
I’m not smart enough.
I’m not qualified enough.
I’m not skilled enough.
I’m not capable enough.
I built a life around these assumptions.
They laid the foundation and I built the walls through the evidence I collected to support them.
They guided how I moved through my life…
How I dressed,
How I talked,
How I behaved.
I made up a story that I was too much… or not enough… and have interacted with you based on the stories I created.
It has impacted our connection.
I told myself that you wouldn’t like me if I revealed myself fully to you.
I would be too much… or not enough.
Therefore, I have chosen to keep my distance.
Thinking it would be easier that way.
I thought it would prevent me from upsetting (or disappointing) you and that it would keep me from getting hurt.
But… the result has surprised me.
While I thought I was protecting myself from pain, I ended up with more pain.
I just traded one type of pain for another.
Instead of the pain of rejection, I ended up with the pain of separation.
And it has proven to be every bit as painful… if not more.
So… it seems I’m left with a choice to make.
Will I let go of my assumptions that I’m too much AND not enough and show up authentically… exposing myself to rejection?
OR,
Will I hold on to these assumptions and present myself in a way that I perceive you will receive me… and deal with the pain of not connecting from a place of authenticity?
Will I continue holding onto my assumptions OR will I decide to let them go?
How about you?
How are your assumptions serving you? Are they creating more connection in your life or are they separating you?
If you find the latter to be true and would like support in bringing awareness to the assumptions you hold that are not serving you, I would love to help.
Simply click here to grab a spot on my calendar and we can talk.
In Ultimate Support of You!
Katharine
PS I made a decision to let go of the assumptions that I’m too much or not enough. I have replaced them with two new assumptions… I am loved and I am enough. I’ve started gathering evidence to support these new assumptions and I’m looking forward to sharing with you what I construct as a result:).
PSS This is hard work!! I’m noticing that when I’m tired and worn down the old assumptions creep back in… rather quickly. I’m extending myself a lot of patience and compassion as I work to let go and change assumptions that have laid dormant for most of my life. Here’s to change and the possibility that opens up as a result of letting go ?.