Recognizing Choice

Last week was a struggle for me. I had a hard time finding motivation.

I felt tired and in need of space, but my schedule was full with client appointments, meetings, and various other commitments I had made.

Words I had sworn out of my vocabulary started to creep their way back in…

“I have to… I can’t …”

No wonder I was feeling stuck.

Instead of looking at my obligations as choices I had made to live in alignment with my values and purpose, I was choosing to view them as things that I had to do. Things that were getting in the way of other things I wanted to do… like go for a hike, take a nap, read, meditate, go for a run, etc.

I forgot about choice.

I had a brief flashback to a time in my life when I felt like this every day. I knew I was in a funk and was determined to get out of it as quickly as possible.

So, I did what I know works best for me when I need to find clarity and re-connect to my values and purpose.

I went to the woods.

I re-connected with my values and purpose and was reminded of choice.

It made a world of difference for me.

Now, instead of looking at the things on my calendar as things I have to do, I'm looking at them as choices I'm making to live in alignment with my values and purpose. Instead of saying I can’t do …, I'm carving out space in my schedule for activities that fuel me.

I am always at choice. Whether I choose to see it or not.

I may not choose to make certain decisions because of the consequences, but I always have a choice.

Here are some examples of re-framing situations to acknowledge choice:

Doesn’t acknowledge choice: I can’t quit my job because I have to pay my mortgage.
Acknowledges choice: I choose to not quit my job because I value having a roof over my head.

Doesn’t acknowledge choice: I can’t lose weight because I have to eat out every day with my team.
Acknowledges choice: I choose not to lose weight because I value the connections with my team members that result from eating lunch out every day.

Doesn’t acknowledge choice: I have to workout because I can’t get another bad report from the doctor.
Acknowledges choice: I choose to workout because I value health and want to be able to be active with my family.

Doesn’t acknowledge choice: I have to go to this meeting because I’ll get in trouble if I don’t.
Acknowledges choice: I choose to go to this meeting because honoring my commitments is important to me.

Doesn’t acknowledge choice: I can’t go to the concert because I don’t have enough money.
Acknowledges choice: I choose not to go to the concert because the money hasn’t cleared my bank account yet.

Can you feel the difference?

For me, the language that doesn’t acknowledge choice feels stifling and unmotivating where the language that acknowledges choice feels spacious and inspiring.

How does it land for you?

You may think it's just semantics, but my experience has shown otherwise. I find the words I choose to use are HUGE in terms of the impact they have on my mindset and they way I feel.

I want to leave you with a question to consider, as well as a request.

Where in your life are you not acknowledging choice?

Over the next week, pay attention to situations where you don’t acknowledge choice. See if you can find the choice you have in the situation. Try to re-frame it acknowledging choice. Consider using words like “I choose to … because I value …” instead of “I have to … because I can’t…”. Here are some other short phrases that acknowledge choice:

• I will not
• I choose not to
• I’m not willing to right now
• The [job, money, relationship] hasn’t arrived yet

I know it can be a difficult shift to make.

It involves taking responsibility.

But, there is so much freedom available on the other side.

Feel free to reach out to me if I can support you in recognizing choice. Simply click here to grab a 45-minute Empowerment spot on my calendar and we can talk about where you are currently, where you want to be, and how best I can support you.

In Ultimate Support of You!

Katharine

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